


Rocky Mountain Oysters

by inkgeek



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Food, Gen, Humor, quietly implied cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1606691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkgeek/pseuds/inkgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will has Hannibal over for dinner and serves something a little unusual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rocky Mountain Oysters

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WORK IS NOT TO BE PUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED ANYWHERE (IN PRINT OR ONLINE) BY ANYONE EXCEPT MYSELF OR THOSE WITH EXPLICIT WRITTEN PERMISSION

“Thank you for inviting me over for dinner, Will,” said Hannibal. He was waiting patiently at Will’s small kitchen table while Will finished frying up whatever it was they would be eating that evening.

“You always have me over so I thought it was about time I returned the favor,” said Will, not looking up from the pan. “I’m not nearly as good a cook as you and I’m not even going to try to be fancy.”

“That’s perfectly alright, Will,” Hannibal said, leaning over in his chair in an attempt to see what exactly Will was up to. “What are we having this evening?”

“Weeeeeeelllll,” Will was clearly avoiding the question, “I- uh… I think I’d prefer to let you taste it first. If you know what it is, it can be off-putting.” Will turned off the flame on the stove and removed the pan from the heat. He fished out the… whatevers and put them on a baking sheet covered in paper towels to drain. Then he checked on the crappie fillets baking in the oven.

“I can guarantee that I will not be phased,” Hannibal assured.

“Then call it a special surprise,” said Will, scooping several of the… _things_ onto two plates. He put one of the plates in front of Hannibal and put the other at his own place. “Hang on, I’ll get the cocktail sauce.”

As Will rummaged in the fridge, Hannibal examined what had been placed before him. They looked like fried catfish pieces or little homemade chicken nuggets. _Surely_ Will hadn’t served chicken nuggets. Hannibal prodded one with his fork. If this was a fucking chicken nugget, he’d have to change all his plans and just kill Will right there in the kitchen.

“Here, have some sauce and a lemon wedge,” said Will, pouring some of the red cocktail sauce onto his own plate then handing the bottle to Hannibal along with a small dish of lemon wedges.

“Will, I’m going to ask you again,” said Hannibal, pouring a small dollop of the sauce onto his plate, far away from the nuggets, “what is this?”

“Just try one, Dr. Lecter!” said Will, spearing one of his own nuggets. Hannibal inhaled and gently stabbed one of the smaller nuggets with his fork. He daintily placed it in his mouth and pulled it off the fork with his teeth.

He chewed once. His eyes widened.

He chewed twice.

He chewed again and swallowed.

“Will,” he said quietly, “are these testicles?”

“Most people call them Rocky Mountain Oysters, but yeah,” Will replied, popping another “oyster” into his mouth. “You like ‘em?” Hannibal looked back down at his plate.

“They aren’t the worst testicles I’ve ever eaten.”


End file.
